I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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