So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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