i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
