Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
