she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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