dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
