He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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