I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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