Having a random hookup so left but love u
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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