....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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