Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
