i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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