GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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