Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize