Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize