I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize