Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize