Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
