he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
