i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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