no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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