My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
