brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
