I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
