one might say we're banned from that church
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
