she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
