week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
