Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
