We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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