so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
