I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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