I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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