His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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