watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize