Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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