Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
