You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
