I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
