My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
