Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
