I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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