apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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