I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
