you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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