Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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