you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
