Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
