I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
