Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
