Just took my morning after pill in the library
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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