dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
