It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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