Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
