i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize