dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
