Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
