ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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