guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
