we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
