New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
