you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
