Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
