I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
