4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
