If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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