If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
