school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
