Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
